"Longed for him. Got him. Shit," and other very short stories

From Wired:

We'll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Dozens of our favorite auteurs put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his ("God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."), but the rest are concise masterpieces.

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
- William Shatner

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
- Eileen Gunn

Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
- David Brin

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
- Stan Lee

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
- Alan Moore

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood

Many more here.  [Feel free to add your own as comments to this post!]

Comments

[timothy Don]

Ran for President. Lost. Grew beard.

[Abbas Raza]

Or:

Won election. Lost in court. Grew.

[ghostman]

The loss of ___ and ___ and ___ was loudly lamented.

***

Overtaken by guilt, she shot the thing again.

***

He eventually starves to death, satisfied that life is just.

***

"The world is all earthquakes and blizzards," said the man in the snowglobe.

[ehj2]

wasn't this done long ago thusly:

i came, i saw, i conquered.

zen is full of terse stories:

this snow, wafting down -- i eat.

[jb]

Coco, my cave blanket. What itches?

[beajerry]

The carved pumpkin blazed, but there was no candle.

[aguy109]

This is a modified repeat of a post from Nov 17, 2006.

Its good: its been done before.

[Maeve Adams]

The best stories from the list, in my mind, are the ones that actually seem to tell an entire story in the six words (p.s. not to be too difficult, but the challenge is six words, not nine, ten, etc.). Hemmingway's is an excellent example, like Atwood's and Whedon's, because the six words take us through an introduction, climax and conclusion. It doesn't need to say anything more because it alludes to shared knowledge that the reader supplies. This knowledge is cultural (e.g., what it is to lose a baby in a world with low infant mortality; being a sexually liberated feminist in a bad relationship; watching a slasher-movie in the moment when murderer finds victim).

Being somewhat enamored of the post-modern, I'm not saying that stories without endings or beginnings aren't good stories. But, the challenge of writing a story in six words seems to demand something more than the typical fragment of postmodern writing. It's not enough to just suggest a topic or the opening six words of a story.

All that's just to say:
Sucked at fiction. Became a critic.

[Jonathan]

In keeping with Maeve's instructions, and not having any original stories to tell of my own, I've redacted a few classics:

Homer's version: War is over. Now I'm home.

Shakespeare's: They killed dad. What to do?

Austen's: What's his deal? Wow, nice house!

Ok, so the first truncates the story to a beginning and an end. The second has only a beginning and a middle. The last I think is closest to having a complete narrative arc.

[Abbas Raza]

Aguy109, you are right! Sorry about that...

"I try but Robin beats me."

Brilliant version of Hamlet, Jonathan!

[Maeve Adams]

To Jonathan:
My favorite's the Austen. Pure genius.

(Chuckle, chuckle). Sorry. I'll stop now.

[tsangrouac]

traveled everywhere...why this precipice?

[TommyTsunami]

Those who can't, teach.

Those who won't, write.

[Jonathan]

Thanks Maeve. .

[Stu Savory]

Cleopatra's porn version:
Vidi,vici,veni.

[Alex]

"Life is being. Being is life."

[dan]

I just can't express all that I like about Hemmingway in six words.

[George Wallace]

Six-word Melville:

"'The Whale!?!  Hand me my leg!'"

[Teju]

"Condoleeza, you may kiss the bride."

[James]

To my surprise. She chose me.

[Elatia Harris]

Joseph Conrad had a fast way of getting down to essentials in many writings that were not novels. It's even possible to support the argument that he was impatient with just such prose as he usually ran to. "The only good book," he wrote, "is a cookery book." Elsewhere, he marveled that literature ever developed, "for there is but one story: they were born; they suffered; they died." A refrain from a Protestant hymn sung during the Conrad era takes it a little further: Ours the cross, the grave, the skies.

[esther]

My six word bible:

Long story short: creation, Christ, apocalypse.

Some summarized Sophocles:

This guy Oedipus marries his Mom.

[Jere Ray]

The Ultimate Love: Quid Pro Quo

[d]

Life in NY

"Fuck you, you fuck", he said.

(NOT gratuitous, IMHO)

[d]

Bush elected, world suffers. Constitution triumphs.

[biw]

Three words is not nearly enough.

[biw]

Three quarks make up all nucleons.

[biw]

Upon Avon, I write iambic pentameter.

[Justin]

THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS ABRIDGED, WITH ESPECIAL SYLLABIC ATTENTION TO THE SONG OF SONGS.

Light. Man. Wrath. Kisses. Grace. End.

[tinkoo]

This one is too realistic: "Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.".

Happened *exactly* like this with me a couple of yrs back but not for automobiles. Electric tubes (for interior lighting) *with electronic chokes* were just appearing in India, carried a 1 year warranty, & the choke went bust exactly at the end of the year. I had to replace 4 of them (out of 8) just after a year.

[Aaron]

Anti-gun campaigner stabbed to death.