March 10, 2008
Monday Poem
Back on the night 1999 arbitrarily became the year 2000 I stood in the middle of an intersection in Northampton, Massachusetts with friends. Some in the crowd were wearing absurd 2000 eyeglasses, those with horns blew them, others yelled and stomped, confetti exploded from hidden places, and hugs and kisses w
ere exchanged as the ball of light atop the Hotel Northampton negotiated its pole signaling the start of a new millennium. Times Square it was not, but everyone’s entitled to small facsimiles in the land of opportunity.
After the gas had gone out of the celebration's balloon we all walked off in pre-9/11 and pre-Bushian innocence with our own thoughts of time passing. Typically self-absorbed, we left the street to the internal combustion engine and the night.
A few days later I wrote something that I recalled when I posted W.H. Auden’s Musee des Beaux Arts a short time ago. Auden’s poem is a reflection on a painting by Pieter Brueghel (not the one here), which is itself a depiction of the fall of Icarus.
Auden's poem reminded me of what I'd written earlier (in subject if not excellence). Though revisited and tinkered with it's essentially unchanged, and is still a take on swift time and big falls. Considering the eight years since, it might also have been a political premonition.
–Jim C.
...
Ask Icarus
–eyeballing a new centuryLike the rest of us
I had a birthday last year.
I won’t say which, but
when I told a young colleague
I can remember the last day
of World War II
--the car horns and sirens and church bells
and my mother kneeling in the yard sobbing--
when I mentioned this
my co-worker’s jaw dropped
as if the world had been invented
on her birthday.
But to be fair, this is a common misconception.
It takes shape in many philosophies.
Still, I can relate to that
--to being amazed by age,
especially my own.
I can sympathize as one who imagines
that only yesterday he dug Link Wray live
in a metallic gold blazer
sending three-chord riffs through a maxed-out amp
looking cool behind wrap-around shades.
It’s beyond belief, but
that was a half century ago.
I think old Link
is not even around anymore.
So, being easily spooked,
when I walk past a mirror,
my jaw drops too.
Look what you’ve become,
I mutter.
My wife’s comment
when I whine like this is:
Think how your mother feels. So,
at birthday time, when as usual
I’m stuck with my own thoughts
(who else’s could I have),
it’s easy to become annually
funked.
But why go there?
Take a positive stance.
Forget the inevitable,
take a chance!
There are more important things to worry about
than time and death.
Today offers the only happiness
and hassles now available, so
it’s a good idea to keep your eyes peeled,
your nose to the wind, and do what you can
while you’re here. After that
it may be too late.
The world’s a beguiling place.
But when I fall or get knocked over
I hope it’s not from inattention.
Though inattention’s
a popular addiction,
it can be a lethal one.
Ask Icarus.
Icarus fell from a great height
after disobeying strict instructions
to be aware of where he was.
Icarus died of inattention.
We could too.But hey,
meditative techniques
issuing from Icarus' ignorance
have been designed to help us pay attention
– to help us avoid becoming
etherized by shiny objects;
to keep us from falling asleep at the wheel;
this in spite of the truth
that we all wind up eventually
doing exactly that, permanently.
The point is, many of these techniques
teach us to focus or point our minds
in the hope that in the process of pointing
we’ll come to appreciate that the process
often seems to have no point.
There are times though,
when this truth is realized spontaneously
without the help of drugs or systems,
as at funerals, during the priest’s soothing homily
while some in the pews inconsolably sob.
A sister, a wife, or mother has died,
and there we are again, regardless of liturgy,
at that wall.
Considering walls, Robert Frost wrote,
“Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,”
and Robert knew what he was talking about.
It’s very human not to love a wall.
Paradoxically, it’s just as human
to love ‘em and build ‘em.
In any case (you can lay money on it),
in terms of walls, the one we face at death
is one implacable wall.
It’s as prehistoric and impenetrable
as the one between rich and poor
—except, the latter wall is strictly human.
It may be undermined by love and will—
but the wall we face at death
is another wall completely.
It was built by god.
It brooks no spin or sympathy.
Death is one wall you don’t surmount
then live to talk about.
At death
it’s too late,
even for talk.
But we can thank god
that death is negated in myth.
It’s a miracle!
How else could we have coped?
Death’s wall has been breached many times in myth.
In stories of the Phoenix rising from ashes,
or of Orpheus’ comings and goings in the underworld
as told by the Greeks,
or of Set dismembering Osiris
and sowing his parts as if they were the
down of a dandelion. Yet Set
was neutralized in myth: Osiris
was finally remembered by Isis
and given new life and love.
Yet still we are swallowed by time.
Only in poet's songs does hope never skimp.
All traditions tell tales of death’s defeat.
All wrestle the same truth but come away with a limp.
This is why I don’t expect any tale
no matter how heartfelt or smart
to cure my chagrin at the instant I pale.
My gut says that at that moment
I’ll be far beyond tales.
Therefore, keep in mind
that what are layed out here
are mere gut feelings arising from things
I’ve seen at funerals
and picked up here and there along the way.
I have no statistics to back them up,
can give no first-hand account of having “passed on”,
and by the time I’ve had the experience to anecdotalize
I’ll be too dead to lift a pen.
This is one thing that's so annoying about death.
Those with no first-hand knowledge
of ever having thoroughly died,
speculate and ramble on about it,
while those who’ve actually had the experience
never open their mouths.
But with a new day dawning in a new century
offering the promise of still bigger swindles and dividends
at the expense of eons-old ecosystems
and the rabble at the margins,
who am I to rain on a ponzi?
And what’s another thousand years
of dead-end metaphysical speculation
when we’ve got today to anguish over
and enjoy.
Eat, drink, and be merry, they say (and more),
for one day, sure as the sun melts wax,
the sometimes self-inflicted
but somehow still unexpected
will knuckle your door.
Ask Icarus...
Posted by Jim Culleny at 04:35 AM | Permalink




Comments
Jim, thanks for the poem.
I remember that feeling of optimism too at the turn of the century. I was naive enough to think that the world was coming together with trade and the internet and that war was obsolete. That the trillions spent on war could be put to productive use. I badly underestimated the power of those who profit from war.
Posted by: Jared | Mar 10, 2008 11:45:20 AM
So say we all.
Posted by: rhbee | Mar 10, 2008 2:25:07 PM
When I was young, I could feel that time was an illusion. Now that I am old, I feel trapped by it. I wish it were the other way around.
Posted by: old man | Mar 11, 2008 9:50:01 AM
I would have thought that the older you get the freer you feel as you are closer and closer to being free of the contraints of existence.
Posted by: Jared | Mar 11, 2008 11:18:08 AM
As far as we know for sure, within the "constraints of existence" is where all the fun is. Though as certainly, it's where all the suffering is too (to be Buddhist about it). Given what we know, as the poem says:
Today offers the only happiness
and hassles now available, so
it’s a good idea to keep your eyes peeled,
your nose to the wind, and do what you can
while you’re here. After that
it may be too late.
Short of the luck of Lazarus, Old Man has it about right.
Posted by: J | Mar 11, 2008 11:49:09 AM
J. I agree that this existence is where the "fun" is and I do not believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. On the other hand, I don't see how time is a "trap". As you get older, you would have the sense of time running out, but is this a trap? Isn't existence more of a trap than non-existence? You could say you are "trapped" in an aging body, but then death would actually be a release from this trap. I don't mean to be so morbid. Each day should be enjoyed. But there would come the time when you are ready to escape the trap of existence, of being in time when your health deteriorates to the point where life is no longer enjoyable. I don't see this as tragic.
Posted by: Jared | Mar 11, 2008 12:31:46 PM
Depends on the individual I guess.
There's a man I did some carpentry work for, maybe 25 years ago. He'd just retired, so was in his late sixties at the time. He lives on a road across the street from my daughter and when I go there I often turn around in his driveway.
About a year ago when I pulled in, there he was on his mower at 90 or so. He got off, came over to my truck and we chatted. Jos has always been an upbeat man with a gentle demeanor. In the conversation he mentioned the shape he was in, which was excellent for a man his age, but suggested life might be getting a little old.
I said, "You're not telling me you're ready to check out, are you Jos?" He just grinned from ear to ear and said, "Anytime, Jim. Any time."
Posted by: J | Mar 11, 2008 12:50:28 PM
I really liked the story about Jos. It sounds like he's lived his life well. I'd like to be 90 and still be doing something useful, and still be upbeat, even about leaving the world.
Here's that wonderful Brueghel "Landscape with the Fall of Icarus" you were referring to, from the Musee de Beaux-Arts in Brussels. I stood for a long time in front of this enormous painting searching for Icarus, and then burst out laughing when I finally found him:
http://www.ibiblio.org/wm/paint/auth/bruegel/icarus.jpg
Posted by: Marilyn Terrell | Mar 11, 2008 11:12:14 PM
In Life
by rhbee
Sometimes things move so slowly, so surely towards the same destination.
They move slowly (seem fast at the time) towards ratiocination.
Sure as sunshine under a blanket of clouds ends a rain, as ocean waves beat the shore and wind blows spray, as inevitable as night following (oh hell, you know the cliche').
I observe this as my path meanders in front of me, the optional exits and cloverleaf off ramps glittering, calling, leading astray . . .
Posted by: rhbee | Mar 12, 2008 1:22:20 AM
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